Someone asked me at our latest gathering if I knew of a good Catholic Church on the Westside and I had to swallow hard not spatter my margarita over her dress – after 15 years in LA I am not aware of a single Catholic Church, west or east side, and I just demurred, skipping over my churchgoing days ending over three decades ago.Another woman expressed such a bigoted opinion I had to remove myself from the table for fear of starting a not so pleasant debate. Italian women would never wish to be anything else other than Italian – but that goes for their male counterparts too. Italian women make good friends – maybe it’s true of every culture but because they are so warm, accustomed to large families and they love to talk and eat, they tend to find ways to coexist with rivalries, gossip, stubbornness and, sometimes, even hypocrisy.
If she says she can’t go when you ask her out for a date, it’s probably true. An Italian girl always wants to know how much you are willing to work for her. American girls pay attention to how they dress, but guys… They’re often deemed as looking acceptable once they meet the minimum standards.The possibilities are then endless, though admittedly limited both to the types of guys at bars and to the scope of their intentions.Here, on the other hand, to meet each other, an Italian girl and an Italian guy need to be properly introduced by a mutual friend or acquaintance, they need to be presentati, presented to one another.After all, we were celebrating one of the ladies going back to Italy for good, her stint at the Consulate over. But as I was sitting around surveying the beautiful garden enveloped by the June gloom, I started to do a mental inventory of the traits common to most Italian women and, taking into account the two margaritas already in my belly which might have clouded my judgement somewhat, here is what I came up with: 1. Unlike their Los Angeleno counterparts who lunch on salads with dressing on the side and sip strictly unsweetened iced tea, we pile our plates, we go back for seconds and we never skip dessert. Italian women cherish motherhood, even those who are not mothers themselves. But they do make good and caring mothers, I will have to admit to that. This was by no means a survey with a scientific approach but I had fun conducting it. Italian women might drink alcohol but do not get drunk. Somehow, there were no fat people in the room which brings me to number 3. It’s not served at parties because it would clash with the food anyway.