You don’t know whether it was more good than bad, whether the couple married too young and hung on for the kids, or what each person contributed to its demise.
Nor can you count on anyone to be a completely objective reporter about his or her relationship.
As a widow who's back on the dating scene in my 40s, I'd like to share some lessons I've learned to help you maneuver the unfamiliar and sometimes seemingly shark-infested waters of the dating world. The same is true for everyone out there in the 40-something dating pool. Know that baggage doesn't mean you're doomed, just different. Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." I couldn't agree more!
By now, you (along with any prospective date) have been through some things in life.
Of all the questions 40-something singles typically get from dating prospects, the most pressing one seems to be: Have you been married before?
Seasoned daters know this question matters and often note in their online profiles that they’re divorced.
Plus, at one time, someone else wanted to commit to you for life, never mind that “for life” got demoted to “for a while.” I’m one of the divorced masses. Even if you ask follow-up questions, the answers shed little light on a person’s relationship skills.
About 30 percent of unmarried Americans ages 35 to 44 have been divorced, according to U. If someone was married for more than a decade, that might tell you how long the marriage lasted but says nothing about its quality.
Don't fall prey to the unrealistic and relationship-killing "perfect list," because that person doesn't exist. Crazy chemistry is a wonderful thing, but not necessarily an indicator of a lasting love. Just like the person you're seeking, you've gone through some struggles, grown, changed, and are different from the person you were 20 years ago. And, although you may feel like a teenager being back out on the dating scene, you're not. When the world was your oyster and there were so many women and men to choose from? Whether you're finding yourself in your 40s and divorced or widowed, the ideal of life you had when you were in your 20s is probably different from what you imagined. Whether you’re single again due to divorce, being widowed, or some other circumstance, this isn't your first dance.Do you remember when you got married and thought it was going to last forever? And now you may find yourself asking, "What happened"? If you're re-entering the world of dating, like me, you've probably had what I call "dating re-entry culture shock." Don't worry; you're not alone. Those life experiences have changed you, and they've helped mold and shape you into the person you are today.A previous marriage, no matter how short, is the relationship equivalent of earning a college degree. Having been married doesn’t mean you’re any better or worse at relationships than someone who’s never tied the knot.If you’ve been married before, the theory goes, you must have the ability to commit. On its own, the word “divorced” conveys only two things: 1) that the person was, at some point, united with another person in a legally sanctioned arrangement; and 2) it ended, and not because one of the partners died.