Judges typically are concerned about affairs that they think caused the divorce. Although Peter and his wife lived in one of those states that pays attention to fault in divorce, Peter decided it was more important for him to be unhurried about divorce than to have a pristine record of no romantic involvement. Remember, there were a lot of things about your exspouse that were appealing at one time.It’s just hard to attach too much blame to an affair that began several months after separation. At my suggestion he was going slow on his divorce, because neither he nor his wife was spending much money on lawyers, and his wife needed some time to adjust to the reality of divorce. Peter started dating again – nothing serious, but it took the pressure off. If you’re attracted to people who are different, that’s fine; just don’t feel that you can’t date someone who has anything in common with the person you once loved.We applaud parents who are striving to maintain their child-centered divorce even when they’ve started dating again.It’s not always the easiest path, but it certainly is the most rewarding in the long-term for your children.This is a common issue after divorce, so there’s a separate page on Rebound Relationships After Divorce.Tom sat across the lunch table from me, glowing with excitement for his new love. It was obvious that she had touched him and that he was convinced that this was the “real thing.” I quizzed him for details. Remember, your children have gone (or are going) through the same grieving process you did, and they may be at any number of points in the process.
We picked at tuna and scallops, washed down with wine for him and vodka for me. A nice man who, in just 90 minutes, unwittingly gave me back myself.
It involves understanding and respecting your children’s needs whenever you are making decisions about your own life.
As parents move beyond divorce and start thinking about the prospect of finding new relationships, there is much to take into account.
Here are some common questions we are asked and the advice we suggest.
Q: Is it OK to date when you’re separated, or should you wait until you are legally divorced?