Even in the cases where the break up was relatively amicable, the circumstances that lead up to it – or the fact that you had to break up at all – is usually painful enough to make up the difference. (If a bad break-up were all that it took to make folks cut their exes out of their lives, I’d be out of a job; at least half of the questions I get fall into the realm of “My girlfriend dumped me for the guy she was cheating on me with how do I get her back? There are any number of reasons that someone might want to get back together with an ex, very few of which are good.
The biggest problems, however, come in your motivation for wanting to get back together in the first place.
I’d just say, “Babe, tell me about your life,” then sit back and try to figure out if he really was a Chippendales dancer in college, or saw a zombie in a hotel pool when he was 5, or smoked weed with Brad Pitt when he was 23.
A liar’s stories are way more exciting than anything you’ll find on Netflix or in a novel.
You can get a beer again without breaking down into tears about your poor broken heart. Regardless of the reasons of why you broke up, running straight back into the relationship without examining it is just an opportunity to replay the exact same failure a second time, only this time you have the added bonus of seeing it coming and realizing that there’s hard to resist the tendency to fall back into the old dynamics of the relationship, and those dynamics are what ultimately lead to the two of you breaking up in the first place and your house being set on fire in a fit of jealous rage.
I’ve got about 300 more Facebook testimonials just like this.
So, quit that boring book club and join the dishonest boo club! When you are constantly trying to catch your partner in a lie, you are forced you to learn lots of new skills, like: how to crack an email password, how to break into a cell phone, and how to riffle through a drawer without making it look like it’s been touched.
You’ll feel like Sherlock Holmes as you go through his Verizon phone bill checking to see who he’s been getting calls from late at night. Just remember to use a pay phone when you call those random numbers.
He is not marriage material—he gets disillusioned too easily for stupidly superficial reasons. Trust me, there are far better men out there if you’re looking for a serious life partner.
Think of him as the “fun” boyfriend, the Player Lite.