I stayed because the thought of sharing custody with him scared the crap out of me. I had to start anti-depressants, my hubby takes his about twice a week "They cost too much, and I don't need them anyway".
I simply could not trust him to put the kid's needs before his own. I also moved out once, we did therapy, and he totally snowed the therapist.
A few weeks a ago, I was looking for some information that would help me deal with my 12 year-old daughter.
It WAS NOT easy, but I was getting physically sick and I knew that if I did not take back control of my life, I would not be a good mom to my kids. Meanwhile I have gained another 3 pounds because milkshakes make it all better! Thankfully we did not have children together, but I had 2 boys from a previous marriage, and one lived with us, the other chose to stay with his dad.
Now this might not sound especially important at first.
And perhaps my description of the problem, as the potential loss of love, may sound a bit overly dramatic.
Perfectionism, the desire to do everything perfectly, or the desire to be perfect, is at the core of the obsessive compulsive personality. Most individuals with obsessive compulsive personality (as opposed to obsessive compulsive disorder*) have developed within relatively healthy circumstances, except for one thing.
That is the dilemma that plagues the obsessive compulsive.