I know this is difficult to accept, but I believe the present trend of open dating immediately after separation must be deterred.Such activity encourages and contributes to the increasing divorce rate. Develop friends, but refuse romantic involvement until the fate of your marriage is determined.Although pretending to be concerned about you, there are busy satisfying their own desires.I have seen many men and women devastated by such an experience.In some cases this may even be the stated purpose: partners (one or both) may openly proclaim that they want to see other people to relieve emotional or sexual frustration, and/or to reassure themselves that their partners are truly the ones they want to be with.(This is a common justification offered for adultery, and to be fair a temporary separation is a more honest way to go about it.) But in either case, this goes deeper than the complaints of "I just can't stand him [or her] anymore" described in the article. Casually going out for dinner and a movie with someone is one thing, but intimacy—however you want to define it, whether emotional, physical or both—is another. After several years of counseling the separated, I am more convinced than ever that Britton Wood is right. But most of those who are dating will never be reconciled. Dating is a prelude to remarriage, not therapy for reconciliation. You are extremely vulnerable during these days of separation.
Since I counsel men and women before, during and after a relationship or marriage, including through a divorce, I frequently see people dating when separated.Your own emotions are erratic, and it would be easy for you to get infatuated with anyone who treats you with dignity, respect, and warmth.Have you noticed the number of people who get married the day after they are divorced? If the separation period is a time to seek reconciliation, why spend energy in an activity that leads to divorce and remarriage? We are still married while we are separated, and we ought to so live, whether or not our spouse complies.In particular I'm thinking of Ross's meticulously crafted defense of "we were on a temporary separation.There are several reasons that the issue of dating during a temporary separation is so "fraught." As Ms.