My relationships have often suffered horribly as a result.Like most men (many women, too) I’ve been conditioned to live in my head, to use my brain to solve any problem that presents itself. Details♦◊♦ Woman, I know you have been hearing for a lifetime that you’re too much … too needy, too loud, too opinionated, too demanding, too happy, too sad, too large, too emotional, too expressive, too whatever. You met her, you fell in love, and you fought to win her love. Marriage and work and children all competed for your attention. You did this instinctively by courting her, wooing her, sharing your thoughts and dreams with her. So you learned to shrink yourself in countless ways, to disappear or somehow deny your true full expression as a…
[That Elephant reference wasn’t a statement of your partner!
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And, when I find myself over and over again as the third, fifth, or seventh wheel in day-to-day social settings, or realize that I can’t quite remember the last time I went on a date, or admit that I haven’t felt interested in someone who was actually available or equally interested in me for quite some time (despite the sheer irony of being an expat and meeting new people, including plenty of eligible bachelors on a semi-regular basis)… My “independent traveler” lifestyle isn’t always exactly appealing to some, even though I could never see myself with a person who couldn’t accept this very crucial part of who I am. But then, in the midst of it all, I remember how stressed dating makes me.
♦◊♦ No one ever taught me how to “be in my heart” (or what that even means).