” I repeated that last part to myself: The words fell on my ears with all kinds of crashing disappointment. Was I over-thinking a perfectly good male-female friendship and trying to fit it into a category of my desire rather than its intent?
One Friday night, after a three hour dinner date at a nice local restaurant, I discovered that the man who’d taken me out, paid for dinner, walked me to my car and said, “we’ll do it again very soon,” actually meant to text someone else, but texted me on accident. Didn’t I just have three and a half hours of great, intimate conversation?I was in a meeting a few months ago, and one of the guys started talking about his girlfriend. She was unhappy that he hadn’t told her he was leaving town, or something like that. ” Men aren’t the only members of the dating public who are guilty of harboring a “keeper-arounder.” I have known plenty of women who have stayed with men with whom they knew they had no future, but didn’t bother to share that information with those men.When we asked him why he hadn’t, he said, “She’s not a keeper. They said things like, “We’re just having fun.” Or “he’s someone to hang out with.” Which is all fine and good as long as the relationship is chaste and, especially, that both parties are on the same page. I have been saying for years that dating is interviewing for the job of spouse. Some people aren’t sure if they want to get married. They want someone to hang out with, someone to attend weddings and funerals with them.Besides, how often do we hear those “I forced myself to go out and ended up meeting my future wife! Some people are lucky enough to be born with the gift of gab, but for the rest of us, walking over hot coals sounds preferable to chatting up an attractive stranger.Dating guru Matthew Hussey has a great piece of advice that’s doable for even the biggest introverts: challenge yourself to talk to three new people every single day.