Research has shown that the magical ratio for a flourishing relationship is at or above 3:1. One of the positive aspects of being in a relationship with someone for a long time is that you really get to know each other.
That is, you need to have three times more positive experiences with your partner than negative experiences in order to have a healthy relationship. The negative side of this is that the novelty wears off, and humans love novelty. Do the following: have fun together; do something ridiculous together; and just let go. The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer used porcupines to explain a dilemma which often exists in human relationships.
And when they live their lives in this way - they really never run out of conversations.Maria Donnelly wrote about it for “I don’t want your money. I want to spend my life making adventures with you. neighborhoods on foot, and pretending we’re tourists while popping into various thrift stores and cafes.Carving our initials into tree bark and mountain sides, buying fifty-cent post cards from every gas station in the U. and mailing them to ourselves, trying beer in every country, collecting sand from each beach we’ve walked on.” ~Maria Donnelly Once again, I feel Donnelly knows what she’s talking about. Some of my best ones have been staying up all night at a diner having milkshakes and laughing until the sun comes up, when graveyard shift waitresses are replaced by the pre-dawn ones. Going on a day road trip to someplace like Solvang, a Dutch area near Santa Barbara, just to have some Dutch pancakes and visit the ostrich farm there.We do not tell a birch tree it should be more like an elm. When you make a long-term commitment to someone you have to be willing to ride the highs, as well as the lows, together. They perceived their partner as being more understanding, validating, caring, and generally more responsive.They were more likely to have reported spontaneously thanking their partner for something they’d appreciated on any given day. Over the course of a day we have a variety of positive and negative experiences.