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Sherry, I've just started dating a man who is in a relationship with another woman and they've been together say six months. For the past two weeks he has come home to me every night and our sex life is excellent. Unfortunately, you are not thinking clearly with your head or your heart. You are not the first women to fall victim of thinking this way.
He says the relationship that he has with her isn't going anywhere because she has made it clear that she won't be leaving her husband. Should I just sit and wait for what they have to be over?
Usually, this is a temporary thing but you seem to be looking at this man as if there is still some long term potential here.
She most likely will not leave her husband for you.
When she believes her husband has started taking her for granted, the fire in the relationship begins to dwindle down to just an ember so she is not looking for just another ho hum guy.When a single man dates a married woman it can be considered an illicit affair with no strings attached, but the temptation is usually there to turn it into something that it can never be, a long term relationship.Okay, now that we have that disclaimer out of the way let’s get to the nitty gritty of what to expect and how to begin. I swipe right on every vaguely appropriate match and write introductory notes without any concern that they might not write back. #entitled When my phone buzzes with a new message during toddler storytime at the library, I have to quell the impulse to write back. Lisa is alluringly unavailable for the last-minute drink, but he follows up to make an actual date for late next week. I go ahead and start planning my toast for their wedding, but will keep swiping in the meantime. On Tinder, when someone says they are looking for NSA, they are not in the market for a cryptologist. But whoever shows up, they better come with “No Strings Attached.” The more you know. So I set her up with a racist Islamophobe whose politics she abhors. Here is a self-identified pool of singles in your immediate vicinity looking to meet one another. Postscript from Lisa: When Ellen offered to take over my dating apps, I didn’t care so much whom she set me up with. I feel none of the self-consciousness I would if I’d been dating for myself. And that kept it confined to a certain portion of existence. New match, new note, someone super-liked Lisa and do I want to know who? And three days a week I’m home with my two small kids who also seem to think they deserve some of my attention. Mostly what I’m left thinking after this experiment is that dating is really hard. Which seems ironic because the convenience of dating apps should make it easier than ever. But presumably that’s how everyone feels after a few weeks (or months or years) on the apps. So that she can come back refreshed and ready to swipe.