At that time, 24 states across the country had laws strictly prohibiting marriage between people of different races.
Five weeks earlier, the longtime couple had learned Mildred was pregnant and decided to wed in defiance of the law. Upon their return to Virginia, they were arrested and found guilty, with the judge informing Mildred that “as long as you live you will be known as a felon.” The Lovings moved to the relative safety of Washington, but longed to return to their home state.
The one thing I didn’t really understand was how it would play out between us. I wrote about how I’d desensitized myself to a lot of casual racism in my life as a survival tactic. Then I wrote about retuning myself to hear the anti-Blackness in my relationship, and subsequently having to address it with my white spouse before we ruined our marriage. I read about the white person’s bravery and their struggle. Just yesterday I read a blog about an interracial family. Then we hold up a mirror so that we can see ourselves, together, because honesty and accountability are everything.
I’m lucky because even though it’s hard for him, he admits his racism and actively works to dismantle it. He accepts that there were things he supported in the past that were disgusting. When I read the blogs of other interracial couples, I rarely hear about the ugly. I also liked the shout out to Darrien Hunt, the young Black man who was murdered for cosplaying with an ornamental sword. How scared white people kill Black people asking for help. I wonder if he questions himself when he hears her dismiss the hundreds of laws that explicitly forbade Black people from accessing the same benefits as white people. It was more than I would do now; my patience was in a different place then, but it’s less than other people think it should be, as evidenced by every person asking if Kevin is okay with my essays. He supports what I do and accepts that sometimes my writing will be about our relationship.
They have been together for years and now she is beginning to understand the inherent danger this country presents for people with brown skin. No walking down the street swinging a sword around. You are to be proud of who you are and your heritage. It is both glorious and heartbreaking to see the volume of injustices across the country. Black people have been discussing this for decades.
Now she sees that minor things like spending time alone with their white child or driving with a broken tail light are potentially lethal for her Black spouse. To tell her two-year-old Black child this: “You better make smart decisions. If you are anything less than these things, you might not come home to me one day.”There was so much in that one quote that I wished I still smoked. For a long time, I gave white people the benefit of the doubt. It was in the past six months that I finally accepted that all of this is 100% deliberate, including the “ignorance.” It is willful. My denial of this was the only thing that made me feel slightly safe in this world.
Today, the mixes among races and ethnicities are diverse, so it is considered preferable to use the term "mixed-race" or simply "mixed" (mezcla).
Some groups in South America, however, consider the use of the word mestizo offensive because it was used during the times of the colony to refer specifically to the mixing between the conquistadores and the indigenous people.These words, much older than the term miscegenation, are derived from the Late Latin mixticius for "mixed", which is also the root of the Spanish word mestizo.Portuguese also uses miscigenação, derived from the same Latin root as the English word.For God's sake, don't make the "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner? Being in a relationship is like riding a rollercoaster.It starts off slow and pleasant, and you can somewhat enjoy it. The next thing you know, you're going up and down, then sideways and up again and down again, and then you're upside down and then right side up, and so on and so forth.