Buser, Ph D, coauthor of The Guys-Only Guide to Getting Over Divorce.
They rush into new relationships -- and often into new marriages -- within the first year.
"Acknowledge that it is not the right time for that." After a divorce, it's easy for guys to let themselves become isolated, especially if the ex gets custody of the kids. It can worsen feelings of depression, guilt, and loneliness, a potentially dangerous mix.
Divorced men are twice as likely to commit suicide as married men.
They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.I do believe that whole routine would be more fun that than which I’ve described above. He knows to say, “I’m not sure it does your figure justice,” in lieu of, “Eww! And seeing as how teaching a man these lessons is akin to herding stray cats, this is a valuable attribute to luck into. I’ll take him, and I’ll work to be patient when his ex-wife makes her weekly call.If you meet a woman you like and find out she’s divorced, you may wonder if her marital status is a red flag."The relationships they start do not often work out in the long run," he says. I've never had a man take me up on that advice, but I do try to slow them down." He also advises men to date casually at first."Tell the woman you've just been through a tough divorce and that you're not ready for a committed relationship," he suggests.