A few clicks put online dating in the rear-view mirror. Regardless of the type of app or site, online dating works better for some than others–a lot better, in fact.
Chief among them was that I did not want to participate in platforms where users are given tools to discriminate based on race.
Many of these guys either hold the above listed grudges against Asian American women in general, or they have their own specific reasons for being angry at Asian American women.
They have each, in their minds, made a correlation between the interracial dating disparity, and the other well accepted societal stereotypes of Asian American men (mostly produced by western movies and media).
If you’re a black woman, as I am, or an Asian man, Ok Cupid data shows that you’re likely to receive fewer matches and messages. It became glaringly obvious that I was getting far fewer matches and messages while online dating than my non-black friends.
The basic thesis of the article is that there’s nothing particularly racist about a non-Asian man who exclusively dates Asian women.
Whether this mathematical imbalance is REAL (i.e., based on actual U. Census data) or PERCEIVED (i.e., based on anecdotal evidence of what some guy “sees on the street,”) I don’t know, and more importantly, I don’t care.
There is, however, something that is very real: “Asian American women are sell outs! I can’t believe that Asian American woman is with that white guy. ”“Asian American women have bought-in to mainstream media stereotypes of Asian American men! They need to see the error of their ways and start dating Asian American guys!
They are dating white men, not because they’re inherently better than Asian American men, but because they’re trying to improve their social status by being by a white man’s side. He’s not even as smart / good-looking / tall / handsome/charming as I am. ” Again, there are many other reasons, but these are only a few examples.
After having taught thousands of Asian American guys (and also Asian guys born and raised in other Asian and European countries), I see the same themes come up time and time again.